ABCs of Common Sense and Satire
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Sunday, July 27, 2008
Just maybe if we all band together!
Promising to act as a group for the next 90 days, we refrain from buying any cheap furniture or mattresses in hopes that action will result in driving those horrendous and locally produced TV commercials...off our screens.
Spraying Raid only made my picture blurry.
I shudder to think that some of their customers are actually watching the same TV programming. Hopefully, it just an advertising agent's error.
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Saturday, July 26, 2008 Islamist bombers to target Olympics
I have a hunch we will see an up-tic in China's exporting of small rugs. |
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 Electric Cars are a Danger to the vision impaired!
If they can create Electronic Slot Machines that sound as they have wheels turning around inside and coins falling out when they hit a jackpot and sell Digital Cameras with simulated Shutter Clicking noises, they certainly can make Electric Cars that squeal like they have a bad Power Steering Pump.
Lets get creative. |
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 Watching a bit of CNN's show Money this AM I note they are unable to enlist any credible panel participants and resort to using prompter reading staffers to fill the chairs.
Please explain to me again, who is Fannie and Freddy and how did they end up with those silly names?
I suggest they team with USA Today and keep the pace light and lively as it beats repeating infomercials . . . or does it? |
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 Will China's shutting down industries during the Olympics so as to clean the air of pollutants, create shortages for US consumers and fuel even more inflation?
Headline: Beijing begins massive Olympic shutdown to fight pollution
Perhaps that will give us time to audit our Carbon Credit books.
Looks like another Win-Win for the uncontrolled polluters and another Loss-Loss for the sterile US. |
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 Happy Day!!
The stock value of Gannett Co. dropped 5% today alone
The largest US newspaper publisher and owner of the StatesmanJournal dropped to its lowest level since 1985.
Looks as its time for them to Embrace some Diversity! |
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008 Oh yea!
Today,
Federal
Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke told a congressional committee of the need for Banks to reach out to Immigrants and engage them with languages and dialog that will bring them to enjoy the benefits offered by financial institutions.
Oh yea, they can't wait to have their income taxed just like the Gringos.
They might be stupid but sure as hell they aren't all ignorant. |
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Sunday, July 13, 2008 The Being Green Sacrifice
I'm sure the kids won't get hassled by their friends for riding in Mom's Lincoln Navigator after they have been seen in the neighborhood on a 95 degree day with all the windows . . . rolled down.
Image projection is everything!
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P.S. Are Chilled Leather Seats an option as yet? |
| Sunday, July 13, 2008 Oregon county could vanish!
http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian
No County Government but we will have plenty of wasted timber that could have been salvaged after a major forest fire and even more . . . Spotted Owl habitat.
Pity is, the majority of Portland's Pot smoking Libs don't have the Foggiest (literally speaking) idea where to find Josephine County even if their bicycle seat depended on it.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008 Turn-about is Not Fair Play?
On the evening of July 4th the only dining options (outside of fast food) open in Salem and doing business as usual included one Chinese Buffet and every Mexican restaurant I saw, save one. Interesting.
Then the next day I learn from a friend who works in the construction supply business of his hearing complaints from Hispanic customers who were unhappy with his business being closed for the 4th.
He asked the complainers, why it was alright for all Hispanics to refuse working on the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo) but not acceptable for us to celebrate our Independence Day, after all they were in the USA?
He didn't mention his getting any answers. |
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Saturday, July 5, 2008 Salem 911 Center Dispatch Protocol
Report: Motor Vehicle Accident with one or more drivers seen running from the scene.
Response: Paramedic staffed ambulance, 1 paramedic staffed fire truck, 1 rescue vehicle, 2 or more Spanish Speaking Police officers and 1 tracking dog.
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Saturday, July 5, 2008 So I'm off to Lowe's to buy a new US Flag for the 4th< /b> I walk through the double sliding entry door and right there, smack dab in the middle of the isle was a free standing display loaded with US flags of all sizes and shapes and on the package they claim to be made in the USA.
While reviewing the many offered options I hear another shopper comment on something they found as displeasureable and then I too realized that all of the text printed on the US Flag display stand itself . . . was in Spanish.
Yes, both sides and not a word in English. http://www.tolandflags.com I didn't have much choice so with flag in hand I headed to the check stand and there I notice the older clerk had a picture of her late husband posted showing him in his WWII Army Uniform.
She hadn't known of the US Flag display rack prior to my comment when she told of her finding it disgusting to say the least.
Not to fear the Sell-Out Bastards extended me a 10% discount and that should make it all right? Wrong, as I won't forget this . . . ever! |
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I gotta become more sensitive!
I called the City's main number today after learning of a neighbor that is in violation of housing regulations.
The beef is with a Huge swimming pool that is full to the brim with stinky, stagnant water that has turned to a green-brown slime. We got skeeters.
I asked to speak with Code Enforcement and drew a blank as the call taker (receptionist) for the City wasn't aware of any such department.
Her best guess was to pass me off to the Permits people. What, they may charge me to Issue a permit for my Issue? Now I'm getting more confused.
The Permits people explained the Code Enforcement Department has been renamed and is now called . . . Compliance Services.
The Compliance Services folks explained the new name is not as harsh and aggressive as the old designation. Do you suppose they say Please more often?
You got it. Violations have become "Non-Compliant Circumstances."
I'm such a beast. |
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Sunday, June 29, 2008 Headline: Newspapers, reeling from slumping ads, slash jobs
Looking for the day when Gannett News . . . is Gonnee. |
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Friday, June 27, 2008 Change brings opportunity!
Today, it doesn't seem unusual to see people riding a bike down the street with a grocery bag (or two) dangling from their handle bars.
So the Meth Heads thieves have discovered. Guess who is going Green?
What you need to look out for today. . . are they riding towards a store or away . . . do the bags look heavy . . . or possibly full of empty cans? It all figures in.
If doing otherwise they may have been up to some break-ins (pro-active recycling) for CDs, video cameras and other fast sell items.
---------------Note: What Conservatives call theft, Liberals call pro-active recycling. |
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Monday, June 23, 2008 Rumor has it!
Obama claims he will double McCain's $300 Million offer to anybody who invents a new and more efficient battery.
However, the winner will be subject to his new 95% Fat Cat Tax and they will be publicly ridiculed for their being extremely greedy.
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(Its a joke)
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Friday, June 20, 2008
Headline:
United Airlines to require minimum stays
Now, if that minimum stay were to be say 10 years or so I would be willing to help send Sleepy Ted on a Free vacation.
We can tell him he won a contest. My bet is he would bite. |
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Thursday, June 19, 2008 Poor Quality Video Cameras cause Bank Robberies
All the Banks I visit have Great Video Cameras where I can see myself on their monitors, in wonderful living color... and they never get robbed.
But as we can tell from the lousy pics of Bank Robbers they show us on TV news that Bad cameras obviously draw robbers and therefore cause the crime.
Thus, Bank Robbers are Victims of Banks being cheapskates and the Bank managers should undergo Greed Counseling. |
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Monday, June 16, 2008
What, Homosexual Married couples known as Partner A and Partner B !
That doesn't sound equal and inclusive.
Why not Partner A and Partner AA,
or Partner AA and Partner AAA,
or Partner AAA and Partner AAAA,
or Partner AAAA and Partner AAAAA,
or Partner AAAAA and Partner AAAAAAAA.
It works in school sports.
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| Saturday, June 14, 2008 7:42 AM
We start our Saturday with a fight in Fred Meyer's parking lot on South Commercial. (This the better part of town.)
Do you spose it was over a parking space at 7:42 AM?
Embracing Diversity is wonderful and just like Salmonella and TB... its everywhere.
To think Salem was so boring only a few years ago. |
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Thursday, June 12, 2008 Drive-up Fast Food has to go!
I would imagine that every day in the USA we waste Millions of Gallons of Gas when idling our Cars and SUVs while waiting in Fast Food Drive-up lines.
Think of all the evil Carbons being released??
And think how much body heat would be reduced if more Fast Food Drive-up customers lost a few pounds just from walking in and out of a Bag and Gag.
So what if it takes 1/2 an hour just to buckle the kids back in their safety seats, its Green, good for the Environment and I personally wouldn't suffer from any of those concerns.
Just like our Politicians, it works for me. |
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Saturday, May 31, 2007
Carbon offsets put Starlight Parade on ‘green’ route
http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=121221317998817600
Now, if you personally want to view the parade and become Super Green you can hire two other environmentally conscious people who would have also traveled to see the parade and pay or otherwise arrange for them to remain where they were prior to the event and to Not Breathe during the time you are in attendance.
Now is you chance to become Progressive Green and make an impact!
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P.S. Cheating would be inappropriate.
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Monday, May 26, 2008
I saw on Craig's list where somebody in Portland was selling what they described as a Entrepreneurs Bicycle.
Its fitted with two racks to carry 2 gallon gas cans, a siphon hose and a pot stash in the handle bars.
They say its a great tool for paying your share of the rent. |
| Monday, May 26, 2008 Rumor has it!
An Illegal Alien didn't want to wait four hours to see a doctor at the ER so he asked a Hispanic Nurse if he could have cuts. She stabbed him. |
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Monday, May 26, 2008 HD Television looks good in the stores where I can see Jelly Fish and Zebras as if I was there and in very fine detail. Wow!
So who is it that thinks I want to see my local TV Newscasters in HD?
I can see how that may bring me to avoid bedtime news.
Have they invented a vision filter HDTV owners can use when needed?
Something that will drastically reduce the Megapixels and instant on with a remote click? |
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Sunday, May 25, 2006
Many republicans are angry at Mike Erickson for his beating Kevin Mannix in the latest primary election.
What they have failed to appreciate is that Erickson won because of his well publicized stance against our giving Illegal Aliens benefits supported at the expense of US Citizens.
I don't recall him promising anything and only and repeatedly using TV spots to hammer the point that he opposed the activity.
Mike's success should be recognized by all persons running for Office across the US as voters are angry and will pick up on any joining them in that anger.
Lets not shoot the messenger and learn from his success. |
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Saturday, May 24, 2008 I dropped by the produce stand and found the rhubarb bin was empty.
The clerk said they had more in back and would have someone bring more up and asked me, "how much would you like?"
Noting the price was $1.99 a pound I replied, "about a gallons worth." |
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Saturday, May 24, 2008 6:01 AM I awake to my radio alarm clock that I purposely have tuned to a "Noise" station as that will usually bring me out of the blankets in a hurry.
However, this morning I chose to listen a bit as the DJ was bantering about a weekend of Music Countdown and her talk was a refreshing change from the usual noise they play.
What caught my attention was her suggestion to any listeners who might be enjoying a weekend of camping as how they could use the broadcast to Ghetto Blast their campsite neighbors into the dust. Real swell!
The DJ's name? Ms. Martinez. |
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May 12, 2008
Ooop's!
http://www.statesmanjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=NEWS
It seems the StatesmanJournal forgot to tell we Salemites of a Subway sandwich shop on South Commercial being robbed at gunpoint and an employee there being pistol whipped . . . Sunday morning.
But then, 24 hours do tend to rush by, now don't they?
Yikes, that's my favorite Subshop! Never thought about my needing to be on watch for an armed hold-up person when ordering condiments. |
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May 11,2008
Curious!
Mother's Day has now been celebrated for 100 years and Hallmark Cards began two years later with starting in 1910.
So maybe we should have Liberal Politicians Day and I can make a killing by selling throwing sized bags of dog manure . . . that burst on impact. |
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May 11, 2008
Headline: China establishes company to make its own jumbo jets You won't want to fly in them if they are of equal quality to the Whirlpool brand appliances that are now . . . only produced in China.
Whirlpool now gives new meaning to the phrase, a World of Difference.
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May 11, 2008
Curious!
Mother's Day has now been celebrated for 100 years and Hallmark Cards began two years later with starting in 1910.
So maybe we should have Liberal Politicians Day and I can make a killing by selling throwing sized bags of dog manure . . . that burst on impact. |
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May 11, 2008
Headline: China establishes company to make its own jumbo jets
You won't want to fly in them if they are of equal quality to the Whirlpool brand appliances that are now . . . only produced in China.
Whirlpool now gives new meaning to the phrase, a World of Difference.
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
It must be my eyesight as I am having trouble making out all their signs. Perhaps you can help.
Immigrant Rights May Day Rally - Portland, OR
Each of these Bilingual Students are worth 50% more in income to the schools than a US born Non-Hispanic. |
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Heard it on KINK - FM 102!
A pitch for listeners to buy a home Now and get this, take advantage of Conservative Prices.
What, all of a sudden the word "Conservative" is considered positive?
http://www.kink.fm/Buy-Now-Oregon/2073700
Now, more than ever...
Home buyers across the Northwest are taking advantage of conservative prices, amazing incentives, and low rates to get the most for their money. All of these elements make right now the perfect time to buy a home.
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Looks as we are to enjoy vehicle GPS tracker units whether we want them or not. We might be lost but the government will know where we are and when we were there.
US Transportation Secretary Mary Peters was the featured speaker at a recent Brookings Institute event. C-SPAN broadcast the speech and her following comments.
During the question and answer period she openly discussed " congestion fees " as a manner to gain funding in support of alternative travel forms. She went on to proudly explain that her agency was actively working with several states to implement such user-fee programs.
My guess, $8.00 a gallon gasoline will easily reduce the traffic level as desired yet I don't expect it will stop the government income program. |
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Friday, April 18, 2008
More Mexican workers headed North
Economists say that U.S. recessions historically are tougher on Mexico than they are on the United States, and that while U.S. officials say that border security measures, such as building a wall along the Mexican border, have reduced illegal immigration in recent months, they won't hold back the flood of workers that's likely if Mexican factories close. http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20080418/wl_mcclatchy/2914089 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Those manufacturers who left the US for Mexico so as to benefit from less government restrictions and lower labor costs, are now laying off Mexican workers as we in the US aren't buying enough Mexican made products.
Is that what we call a Catch the 9mm. |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008
What a swell way to demoralize our youth than to play them a fools
in the Earth is on Fire charade!
Can we expect them to become cynical and distrust all leaders, be
they Vice Presidents or not?
USA Today
Expert: "We're brainwashing our children" about global warming
William Gray, the well-known Colorado State University hurricane forecaster, routinely uses the annual National Hurricane Conference as a platform to bash global warming. In a statement to Florida Today, Gray argued that the scientific consensus on global warming is bogus — and "a mild form of McCarthyism has developed toward those scientists who do not agree" that mankind is in danger.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/weather/2008/04/expert-were-bra.html |
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Sunday, March 30, 2008 I see most in the news media is supporting an H & R Block.
That means, No Hussein and No Rodham.
Curious, no? |
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Headline: Mexico now the 2nd fattest country, after U.S.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20080324/wl_mcclatchy/2886854
It was all the Fat Illegal Aliens from Mexico that pushed the US into #1
and now the problem has migrated to their birthplace much as has our
Money they gained from stealing our kids employment.
Drop by just about any Wal-Mart and watch the many the five and six
year old anchor babies waddle into the store. Many have learned how
to heave their bodies from side-to-side when attempting to walk as their
fat little legs don't move that well anymore.
Their Medical problem are only months away if not here today.
They need Corn diets not wheat, but just try telling that to their Madres
who enjoy the ease of frozen burritos, tamales and 64oz Big Gulps.
They don't need no stink'en diet advice.
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| Monday, March 24, 2008 Want to aid climate? Fix land use, groups say
Cutting emissions - To reduce car trips, the state needs smarter development, environmentalists argue.
http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/base
Makes good sense!
So lets start by deporting a few million Illegal Aliens from Mexico and in the process drastically reduce the need for roads and homes including all the pollution created and energy consumed by those who when in their homeland rely on bicycles and other types of basic transportation and live in simple dwellings that place less demand on our diminishing resources.
If our intent is to save the earth by returning to a simple life lets begin by sending those who are more accustomed to that lifestyle back to where they can best make use of their existing skills and abilities. |
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Sunday, March 23, 2008 Embracing Diversity sometimes requires changes in our activates
Today, when hearing what sounds like gunfire in your neighborhood you no longer run outside to learn about the possible cause.
No, its better to simply watch how many neighborhood cats are blazing past your specific location and in which direction they are headed.
If its a three cat alarm or more you might consider calling 911. |
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Monday, March 17, 2008 Keeping up with change!
New Police jargon for us to learn to go along with SWAT, GET (Gang Enforcement Team) GM (generic Mexican) and others.
The new tag is ASA or Active Shooter Alert . That would be "Alarma activa de Tirador" in Spanish. |
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Saturday, March 15, 2008 Crime Tip!
Been to the grocery store lately?
Forget about making plans of hi-jacking a tank truck loaded with Printer Ink and give thought to hitting a Bread truck loaded with wholegrain.
I couldn't bring myself to check the prices of breakfast cereal. I don't want to know.
The thought of someone mugging a five-year-old for their Fruit Loops is reprehensible.
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Friday, March 14, 2008 Win some, Lose some!
Mexican stocks extended hefty losses on Friday as the peso weakened.
Traders in Mexico City said fears heightened that a crisis in the U.S. new housing market could further deepen.
Nice to know that our friends to the south are worried about our welfare. |
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Friday, March 14, 2008
Today the word "Sell" has 4 letters!
So I call a manufacturer in hopes of locating and learning more about one of their new products.
The receptionist answers and I explain the reason for my call and asked to speak with the sales department.
She says, sorry we don't have a sales department.
I say, you don't sell your products?
She says, correct, we don't sell anything.
I say, then who does?
She says, the retailers sell our products.
I say, and where do they buy them?
She says, our distributors make them available to the retailers.
I say, and then who makes them available to the distributors?
She says, we make them available to the distributors.
I say, then who in your organization helps make them available to the distributors?
She says, the Branding Manager.
Golly, there for a minute I thought I had forgotten how to speak English.
Now if I had, would that be a Problem or an Issue? |
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Thursday, March 13, 2008 Dropped by the local BK for my weekly Whopper Jr. and while waiting I watched as a drive-up window worker knocked over two large stacks of beverage cups which landed on the floor. They were immediately put in the garbage bin and the Gringo doing the clean up washed her hands.
I made a positive comment of that to the manager who was walking past. She was pleased to let me (and all others who were watching) know that was their standard policy and thanked me for noticing the effort.
Much different than a few days back when I visited a Panda Express and while there watched as a worker dropped an armload of empty go-food boxes on the floor and after gathering up the mess placed them in the racks where I assume she was originally headed.
I had also wanted to make a comment there as well however the language barrier was bad enough with my simply wanting an order of rice to-go that I decided skip the exercise. They weren't very friendly anyway.
Come to think of it, I can't recall ever seeing Chinese people operating a Mexican Restaurant and then unable to speak Spanish or English. Huh?
I guess those Chinese people aren't willing to do what I wouldn't do. |
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Monday March 10, 2008
Wow, I guess.
A trip to Winco allowed me to discover an 18.4% price increase in
food prices . . . on average.
Shopping for one who is without menu imagination makes it easy to
track prices.
Perhaps if I change my menu selections I won't be as likely to feel
the pain. It just seem like the Democratic thing to do!
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P.S. Better buy stock options on Bean Burritos.
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See No Evil Will Get Us Dead.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
No Water Boarding and No Torture!
It must be comforting for some children to know their soft underbelly parents have limits as to how far they will go and what they might do in protecting them from a real danger.
Sure, they devote extensive amounts of time and money to insure their child's car seat and SUV meets the latest government safety standards. However, they will do little or nothing to protect them from Terrorists or Illegal Aliens who want only to kill, kidnap or rape them.
Seeing no evil will get us all dead! |
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Saturday, March 8, 2008 Trained Crisis Intervention Dogs?? Golly, maybe Crosby Institute should create a training program for Crisis Intervention Dogs.
The education would be entirely free providing owners didn't ask to many questions but I would charge for lodging.
I would Certify Levels I, II, III, W/Lick and Paradog and take Visa or Master Card. |
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Saturday, March 8, 2008 Wouldn't that be swell to come home and find a strange vehicle in your driveway that is occupied by two adults and other unknown people are moving about your property.
Maybe aunt and uncle (Art and Fannie) from Arizona are visiting early this year?
That's when you do an "Oh Crap" and keep on driving past while calling 911 on your cell phone.
How diverse!! |
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Thursday, March 6, 2008 It wasn't but a few days ago that many of Salem's streets look as it was Super Bowel Sunday at 3:00 PM.
Obviously the sudden $.27 cent per gallon gas price increase had hit some SUV owners stop button.
But now with a few days past it seems Americans have adjusted to the new reality and its back to traffic jam'en like we never lost step. Emily is headed back to dance practice and Jesse is off again to Ninja training.
Amazing!
I wonder is the folks in Vegas have odds going on the break point? |
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008 Here is the Test!
Will MS include the name "Obama" in their Word spell-check library?
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Tuesday, March 4, 2008 Think of all the homeless people that could have been fed and housed with the money Hillary and Obama have wasted bashing each other on TV and in political rallies. What a scrap!
Wouldn't you think that two caring Liberals could have come together and decided who would win (draw straws) and saved all those Millions. Just do the right thing.
Dare I mention all the unburned jet fuel trailing across the skies? You do know that Jet engines are not 100% efficient. Gasp. Is that Green?
What about auditorium heating costs and energy lost in New Hampshire?
Did it come from coal? The lighting wasn't free, now was it?
I feel so guilty by not mentioning this to them earlier. I'm so bad! |
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Tuesday, March 4, 2008 From the looks of all the cars in driveways and apartment parking lots I'm thinking there is a No Drive Protest underway over gas prices and nobody ever bothered to tell me anything. Huh!!
Whatever, it seems to have caught on this time. Wonder what was done differently? |
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Sunday, March 2, 2008 Somewhere in Marion County there is a gang fight involving a group of Hispanic teens gathered outside a Bowling Alley. Silverton???
I remember those Bowing Alley gang fights when I was a kid.
Once Terry Beyers was hit so hard that he dropped his raspberry ripple ice cream cone. |
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Sunday, March 2, 2008 Ring, Ring!
Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now as I am either Tease Training the Pitt Bulls or Reloading Ammunition.
Go ahead, leave a message at the tone.
Meep
P.S. Best results come from this auto-answer message recorded over a background sound of metal being sharpened on a grind stone. |
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Sunday, March 2, 2008 Some people are wondering what these guys are up to.
 Putin, Medvedev pledge unified path Vladimir Putin, left, and his hand-picked successor Dmitry Medvedev.
I'd guess about 5'2" max.
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Saturday, March 1, 2008
Hate to say it but my favorite Mexican restaurant has proven itself as being Gringo unfriendly and now for the fourth time in a row.
Wrong order, almost No service, but still tasted great as usual. Apparently the cook couldn't see who he was serving or didn't catch the secret mark the waitress had made on the order ticket.
Twice now when dining by myself and twice with others and things are just not a good as they were less than a year ago. Not even close! Somebody is sensitive about an "Issue" or something.
I can understand myself appearing as a person who would be most likely hostile to those who choose to ignore law and order. But is my presence enough to spoil a dining experience for everyone else? Yes, I guess it is.
So here is a tip, don't join me at Casa Los Horrendos anytime soon.
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P.S. I could swear the cashier only opened the till, made change and didn't ring up any sales amount. Being Green I suppose and not wanting to waste adding machine paper. |
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Saturday, March 1, 2008
Is it time to Investigate the value of the Investigations?
The ODOT snowplow driver reports to their dispatcher of coming upon a motor vehicle accident (hwy 20) that is blocking the roadway.
The dispatcher advises the snowplow driver "do NOT move any of the involved vehicles until Oregon State Police have arrived and given their permission"
Dam I guess as we Taxpayers sure as heck need to know exactly what caused the accident. Lets close the highway for a few hours. After all we can't just assume that snow on the roadway and/or driver error was the problem, or would that be an Issue?
But then it could have resulted from a crumbling road surface. And that because we don't have enough money to fix the roads as it was spent on MVA investigations?
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Hours later:
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I'll bet that due to the recent increases in Gas Prices the number of bicycle commuters in Salem will double and soon.
Well, I shouldn't really wager on that as that would be cheating. You see I have insider information.
I saw my neighbor pumping up his bike tires tonight. |
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LONDON TO AMSTERDAM: Airline on biofuel
Why don't the Greenies just stay home? Short of medical needs which is a rarity and freight, 99% of air travel is for pleasure and hi-tech connectivity can take them there almost instantly and in stereo.
If the Green business person wants to look into the customers eyes then just flip on the cameras and be there in Hi-def. Who needs more than 1080P?
Now, if the Greenies were true to their claimed convictions they would bag the air trips, reduce the waste of jet fuel, tune their bicycle spokes and make your, and my, getting around a whole lot easier and much more affordable.
I'm ready to make that adjustment in my lifestyle, are they? |
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Sunday, February 24, 2008
News has it:
Washington Gov. Christine Gregoire should be celebrating her state's robust economy and record exports. Yet sagging tax collections are lowering an estimated budget surplus by $400 million.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Wonder where the money went?
Perhaps its considered as part of the robust exports, si? |
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Friday, February 22, 2008
The only solace I find with growing older is knowing that Tonya Harding is aging at an even faster rate than I.
Perhaps it has to do with her living closer to the earths core. |
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Ever wonder why the UAW doesn't sponsor a NASCAR Team?
Perhaps they have but their car didn't pass entry inspection. |
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008 Bad Headline
It read, Is Hillary Finished?
It should have read, Hillary is Finished!
Typo I spose. |
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Headline: Competing crime measures proposed by Mannix and Senate
Dang! That's a great idea. Competition, I wish I had thought of it.
Yes, lets have the Criminals compete with each other. Make a game of it.
Look what the NBA did for street gangs.
We can declare Gresham, Oregon as a Crime Safety Zone, fence it off so they can't escape and let them have at each other.
Look what the Traffic Safety Zones have done to head-on collisions and Traffic Accident Investigation activity.
The Oregon Lottery can create a wagering mechanism and the income from that could help the schools expand their parenting classes.
It all starts from one idea and the opportunity spreads like leprosy or TB.
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Monday, February 11, 2006
Headlines:
U.S. population will soar to 438 million by 2050; Hispanics triple...
&...Older Population to More Than Double
Older population to double?
Either we Older Gringos are now having Older Children or the Mexicans are bringing along Grandma and Grandpa.
The way they explain it the Grandparents are bringing along their children, their grandchildren and the great grandchildren.
We must have a big hole in the fence somewhere as I can't see how some of these decrepit old people who arriving of late could ever climb over a curb let alone barbed wire. |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 Back to back pieces of information gained from CNBC this AM. The results of a recent CNBC study found that 70% of all Pet owners surveyed would willingly spend what every it takes to save the life of a pet.
I'll bet they can't say as much for the waitress at Ihop that pours them coffee every morning and asks how Bowser is doing.
Next came a Volvo commercial where it told of a new "Heart Beat Detector" that can warn a Volvo driver if someone is hiding in their car as they approach. Ooop's!
That sure messes things up for the average Bad Guy who like to hide behind the front seat of a ladies Volvo when parked at the mall.
But then, can it determine a Bad Guy from a Government Child Seat Installation Inspector III, just doing their job. |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 Huckabee tells, "not one of those many who last week donated money to his campaign, have asked him to quit."
Wow, that's impressive.
Best I can guess is the Free One-way Greyhound Coupon I sent him musta got stuck in the mail bag. |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 Why we question Crime Statistics
The following story is repeated in all the news reports telling how the situation (issue) ended peacefully. However, the woman who was stabbed by the bad guy before the standoff began is in the hospital with life threatening injuries.
I suspect they are all reading and publishing (word for word) from the same Press Release as written and distributed by Tualatin's Police Public Relations Officer. Why waste time investigating and rewriting a story as time is money?
This helps explain to me why TriMet doesn't have any major crime problems.
Should we be asking TriMet if they have any crime . . . issues?
http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_020808_news_tualatin_standoff.a22d077e.html
Tualatin SWAT situation resolved peacefully
05:05 PM PST on Friday, February 8, 2008 |
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The benefits of a down economy!
I have been putting off cutting up this Huge branch that had fallen off a red wood tree during the last wind storm, as its just been to cold and wet.
Then today after the temps have moderated a bit I headed out to perform the disposal task and discovered the Huge limb . . . had been stolen.
Firewood is firewood. It works for me. |
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Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I stopped into my local Best Buy store Sunday and found the place as busy as I would expect the week before Christmas.
The mostly working class customers were packing out computers, TVs, car stereos, speakers and just about every available to purchase.
When at the check-stand I asked the clerk if the crowd was unusually heavy and she answered, "yes, its been like this all weekend and we actually don't know why."
Then I suggested, "perhaps they are spending their Stimulus Money."
She then asked me, "what's Stimulus money." and I said, "oh, never mind."
I bet that if I had told her the Federal Government is planning to give most Taxpayers a cash bonus . . . that Maria would have thought I was Racist. |
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Sunday, February 3, 2008
So What Happened?
I stopped in at the Woodburn Company Stores last night about 7:45 and found the place pretty well empty save a few stray shoppers such as me.
Of course I parked at the wrong end of the mall from where I found the store I was seeking and was able to use a short-cut on the return.
I couldn't help but notice when passing through how the employees were busy with starting their closing routines and in many cases the workers were the only people in the businesses.
You guessed it, I would estimate that better than 80% of the employees looked as they were Native born Spanish speakers, yet that didn't include the store I visited as they both spoke with heavy Russian accents.
But then I had just come from Buster's BBQ in Portland where eight of the ten employees were also Native born Spanish speakers save two.
They were the Gringo male who was asking what customers wanted as main dishes and the Gringo girl who was taking orders for and delivering side dishes. Perhaps Language barriers suffered in those positions might be a problem.
So what happened to all the Gringos that were working at Buster's and the Company Stores about a year ago or so. Do you suppose all those 20-30 something's retired or are they now all afraid to work after dark? |
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
When is Spring, you ask?
My old 1/2 Indian friend tells me the first sign of Spring is when Costco breaks out the bags of lawn chemicals.
You don't even need to see it as with stepping in the door you can smell that Spring is in the air.
Actually it tends to burn my nose at times. |
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Thursday, January 24, 2008 No need to send Fed checks as an Economic Stimulus
All the Feds needs to do is convince the Banks to simply raise the credit card limit to those same irresponsible fast spenders by $1000. each and all that money will trickle down through casinos, mini-markets, cigarette sales outlets and big screen TV rental companies almost immediately.
Then in a year the Feds can bail out the banks when they hit the wall.
Its sure would make bookkeeping easier and get the booze flowing much faster, not to forget all the trees saved by not mailing checks to all those free spending folks who have likely lost their mailbox keys anyway.
You just gotta work smart nowadays.
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
That's what it is, Geocaching! www.geocaching.com
Adults playing a game of hide-n-seek.
Here I thought all those people running around while staring at piece of handheld electronic equipment were just more Sprint customers looking for a signal.
Things may get extra crazy come Easter.
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
The motto at a Mens Hair Loss Clinic,
"We Shall Over Comb." |
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
An Old Indian was telling me that many Totem Poles have another carved
figure that most pale faces know nothing about.
He explained those figures are often carved at the bottom of the pole and then become buried out of sight when the pole is erected.
I asked what those figures represented and then learned they called them Liberals and were purposely placed under the dirt line as that was the only way they could stop them from complaining about those higher on the pole. |
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
Headline: Stimulus plan may be ready by March
So why don't they just send us all $800. now and figure out what to call it later.
Either way the Feds will need to borrow it from the Chinese or just print more. How long can that take? |
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Friday, January 18, 2008 I have come to discover the Stock Market and a Stock Yard not only sound the same, they often serve the same purpose. |
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Two impossibilities:
#1 Perpetual Motion.
#2 Watching late night TV news without learning about a Mattress Sale. |
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Monday, January 14, 2008
I have an idea that will reduce crime, reduce air pollution, reduce waste of fuel, reduce traffic, reduce congestion and save US citizens millions of $s.
Simply Stop Saturday Mail Delivery
With e-mail, UPS, FedEx and faxing there is no longer any urgent need to deliver mail. The bills and junk mail can wait till Monday for all I care and so can the mail thieves.
Besides, all the weekend ads are already out by Thursday so what do we have to lose other than receiving a birthday card a day late?
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Monday, January 14, 2008 Having been exposed to some horrendous odors coming from numerous Dryer Vents over the years, I am pleased to have found a Lady neighbor who much to my delight uses Downy Dryer Sheets with a Vanilla and
Lavender sent.
Most excellent and a good change from those odors borrowed from moth balls, latrine disinfectants and commercial insecticides!
Please know the fragrance people are sometimes hard pressed for new products and thus turn to those that many have forgotten. So just what is a No Pest Strip anyway?
However, its definitely not anything any gents I know would want to use and that is especially true when visiting the gym.
Lets leave it for the Ladies. |
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Saturday, January 12, 2008 Music to my ears!
That the sound coming from a Police Radio when a Officer is requesting a Tow Truck respond to their location for a . . . No Insurance Impound.
99% of the time the driver is Hispanic, 99.999999% of the time they have violated a basic motor vehicle Law and 99.888% of the time they have an Oregon Drivers License. |
| Thursday, January 10, 2008 I can only hope that of I am reincarnated I never come back as a Hen working on a Jumbo Egg farm. |
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Monday, January 7, 2008 Gotta remember this for next Christmas
The word "Ho" in Chinese means "Good."
So next year let's help Santa Claus Embrace Diversity with saying "Ho, Ho, Ho" as often as he wants.
In Portland we don't rename the main drag in China Town after Cesar Chavez and we don't get after Santa for having a Ho time. |
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Ah yes, its Winter again in Oregon!
The cold driven rain is beating against my window panes while the bitter wind roars sounding as if an endless series of UPS trucks turning around in my driveway.
Ah, the moments to remember. |
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Passenger jets to get anti-missile devices
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-01-04-anti-missile-jets_N.htm
Sensors mounted under a plane can detect a heat-seeking missile and with using the heat of a laser send the missile veering harmlessly off course. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I see, the Missiles will veer Harmlessly off course?
I just got this hunch that news of these Safety Devices might kick-start real estate sales listing in areas near commercial aircraft travel paths.
Perhaps its time to test your roof for traces of jet fuel residue? |
| Monday, December 31, 2007 Headline: Kenya election protests kill 124
How do we know which Diversity to Embrace? |
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Sunday, December 30, 2007 In March, the Malaysian government, which had majority ownership of Columbia Aircraft of Bend, OR, reorganized the Bend facility to include members of a New York City-based restructuring company that would later move Columbia through bankruptcy.
http://www.bendbulletin.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071230/BIZ0102/712300323/1011&nav_category=
Curious, I don't recall ever seeing mention of the Malaysian government owning Columbia Aircraft. Perhaps our news folks had overlooked that that little detail.
I'll bet that drives the Socialists Democrats crazy knowing they were not the people to run Columbia Aircraft into bankruptcy. But then, they can take comfort in knowing it was likely their repressive bureaucracy that started the ball rolling. |
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Thursday, December 20, 2007 Lets start a drive to collect Defective Bluetooth Headsets.
Then we can hand them out FREE to all the crazies who are walking our streets and sidewalks, which will make them seem much less scary when encountering them duing a conversation with themselves.
Nothing else it would reduce a lot of stress on Taxi divers. |
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Sunday, December 16, 2007 Invention wanted
A GPS Mapping device that gives the user Bad Directions.
I want to send one to Teddy K. with a note attached saying, "from Neil, In appreciation for doing nothing."
And another model that when #2 is pushed for Spanish all routes shown will lead to the Mexican border . . . Southbound. |
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Saturday, December 15, 2007
Invention needed
Embrace the Illegal Alien Culture with creating an Auto Accessory made specifically to meet their needs.
That would be a Center Hump Console with a place for the driver to store their Hit-and-Running Shoes. |
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Saturday, December 15, 2007
Amazing how nowadays they interrupt TV Infomercials for commercials.
Lucky is that most of them are freebie Public Service Announcements better known as PSAs. They can't hurt, right?
What I like best when the Infomercial pitch is broken by a PSA from our friends at the Consumer Protection Agency when they caution us not to be taken in by fast talking hucksters.
Here we thought only government was screwed up. |
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007 What does it mean when you come home after a long day at work and it seems somebody has painted your house Pink with Tan stripes?
It means you have an excellent opportunity to upgrade your insulation as someone has stolen your aluminum siding. |
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007 I'm outside in the yard when I spot my regular UPS driver headed towards my door and call out to him that I can accept the package.
He was already around the corner and out of ear shot, but his Holiday Helper was standing next to the truck in a position to relay the message yet he failed to respond as I expected and only gave me a sheepish grin.
It seems that he the Helper Person hired to do the running doesn't speak English so good ya know. Now I understand why the driver was doing the hoofing. No doubt faster for him to just do than explain.
Then I head to Costco and while paying the checker the Helper asked if I wanted a Box when I explained, "No thanks, the cart is good."
That was when she put my three heavy items in a box and took the cart away. She doesn't speak English so good ya know.
Hope you can read this. |
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Sunday, December 9, 2007
Sen. John McCain Warned
http://www.oregonlive.com/newsflash/topstories/index.ssf?
Sen. John McCain warned that harsh immigration rhetoric voiced by some Republicans have driven Hispanics away from the party. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ But does he have an idea what would it take to drive about 20 Million of them back over the Border?
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Saturday, December 8, 2007
Maybe the Brandt family could raise baby Gabriel as a Criminal so he might join his criminal father and criminal uncle in sending drug money to his innocent Grandma in Mexico.
With Mr. Brandt being a Deputy Sheriff I expect he could help Gabe connect with numerous Illegal Alien mentors who could give him a Head Start in their sub-culture of crime.
Who knows, perhaps the Brandts could win a DHS award for their Creative Diversity.
Now embrace that idea.
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Friday, December 7, 2007
http://wweek.com/wwire/?p=10203 In 2004 State Superintendent of Public Instruction Susan Castillo green-lighted changing parents for 1/2 days of Kindergarten without seeking a legal opinion affirming that public school districts had the right to charge tuition. That was a mistake.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ No, that's a horrendous blunder born out of ignorant arrogance and a desire to control the population through indoctrination.
Suzie's rule applied elsewhere, the Fire Department would not charge for mileage when responding to your house fire, but would charge to put the fire out upon arrival.
An absurd concept to you and I, but not to she. |
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Friday, December 7, 2007
Did your Ears catch that news?
Levitz Furniture is going Out of Business.
Wasn't that many years ago your Nose was first to tell you of a furniture store going out of business.
That was usually soon followed with your ears picking up the fire sirens. |
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Wednesday, December 4, 2007
Headline: Ford and GM Plan to Trim 2008 Output
That's because there is gridlock at the end of their assembly lines. |
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Wednesday, November 28
Those of us who ever followed a Snow Plow/Sander Truck up a slippery mountain road can attest, once to the top they turn around and head back to where it was they started, leaving you to slip and slide your way down the other side.
Pretty much the same as outcome as following Democratic Leadership. |
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Out for a Walk Today
Monday, November 26, 2007
Out for a walk in the park today and met up with some folks that were lurking in the bushes and who I assumed were Geocashing.
Turned out to be just more Sprint Customers looking for a signal. |
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Reports to 911 of a woman driver...
Saturday, November 25, 2007
Reports to 911 of a woman driver going the Wrong Way on an exit ramp off of the Center Street Bridge.
Oop's, now a male driver has joined her.
Time for a $15,000.00 accident investigation where an hour ago $2.00 worth of sand would have prevented both drivers from sliding on the ice.
Lets buy an old railroad bridge and convert it into a bike path leading to a homeless camp/gang fight/soccer game area. |
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If Crude Oil Replaces the Dollar
Saturday, November 25, 2007
If Crude Oil replaces the US Dollar as the international currency we can expect to pay up to 37.5 gallons of gas for a motel room at the coast.
But then the Greenies can spend 2754 Carbon Credits just to stay home.
Think I'll start investing in 5 gallon cans. |
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Dogwagging!
Saturday, November 25, 2007 Why is it that Oregon's DHS is sending out Press Releases detailing facts about the number of Meth Labs being discovered in the State?
The bad part is the Press Release totally ignores how Meth coming here from Mexico in much better quality and in much greater volumes than what was once made locally.
But then, ODOT is now handing out Economic Development money.
Can we expect the Department of Revenue to start helping OSP and ODOT's efforts in Road Closing traffic accident investigations? |
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Sunday, November 25, 2007 On fire, again? Curious
The only way to solve the Wild Fire Issue (problem) in Malibu is to change the City's name.
I'm amazed the Liberal Movie Folks haven't thought of that yet.
How about Egoton? Or, Plasticville?
Where else can you watch as a Castle made of stone is reduced to a pile of ashes.
That takes a whole bunch of heat to burn stone. But then, Hell Fire likely burns at high temps. Hopefully it burns Clean. |
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
Its been about three days now and I'm doing quite well thanks.
You see I accepted an invitation by the Native Americans who own an Oregon Casino to join them in a Thanksgiving Day Dinner Celebration.
The deal was, they did all the work in preparation of the meal and all I needed to do was cover the cost and include a little extra as a token of my appreciation.
Hey, the meal was great and I was more than pleased to do my share.
All I need to do now is get the word to Seattle that of the hundreds of Native Americans who were directly or indirectly involved in the event (those who the School District there claims have been holding a 500 + year grudge) that none choose to poison me or anybody else.
Either the Casino owners missed an excellent opportunity to settle an old score or the Seattle School District staff are a bunch of freaking screwballs.
I think we all know the story coming from the Seattle Schools is from a different time, place and much different people. Perhaps we should all read the words of Chief Seattle?
http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/chiefsea.html
Me, I'll bet on the Seattle School District staff being screwballs and you can bet on never finding me Breaking Break with their administrators.
Way risky! |
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
Have you heard about the new Blueberry?
It looks a lot like a Blackberry but is a bit different.
It receives only and every other message is limited to hating George Bush and conservatives.
Service is now available in Seattle, Portland and Frisco. |
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Headline: Oregon Gov Kulongoski to Bar: I heard about
an illegitimate child, not sex abuse...
Ok Teddy, so spill what you know about a Bastard Child.
Nobody seems to have any facts about that Full Neil Deal.
Now is Teddy's chance to be a hero! |
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
Entrepreneur Alert! We have a new need.
Its for Real Estate "For Sale Signs" that will withstand long term exposure to Oregon's rugged climate.
There is always a Silver Lining, sometimes ya just gotta look for it. |
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
The Truth about Thanksgiving????
I saw the news piece about Seattle Schools teaching students how the Native American's hospitality has been betrayed by the Europeans for over 500 years.
I think today is a good time for me to visit the Spirit Mountain Casino, hit the Buffet and see if they poison my ass.
Don't know why but somehow I feel myself much safer there than I would be at a Hillary fundraiser. |
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Monday, November 19, 2007
We are all accustomed to Gas shortages and the opportunity they give Big Oil to rip us off.
And now we have all seen the price of toilet tissue. They be bad!
But its also claimed there is a Hop shortage and Beer prices are going up.
Golly, it only took the brewers 35 years to catch on.
At that rate the Pot Growers won't pick up on it until the year 2090.
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Sunday, November 18, 2007
Based on demonstrated talents I think my young Grandson may well become a chemist.
Just having learned to talk and he already knows how to determine a gas from a solid.
His mom and dad are thrilled.
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
Have you heard the Parr Lumber radio commercial where they are asking people on the street about what Being Green means to them.
I especially like the last comment. It comes from who I suspect is a young lad who must be the product of Oregon's school system when he states, "without an environment life would be pretty boring." Duh!!
I think we stand a better chance of losing gravity than our environment but think of the excitement that would generate.
Please don't mention this jest to any Nobel Prize Winners. |
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
India: Troupes of monkeys are out of control in India's northeast, stealing mobile phones and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We Oregonians can certainly sympathize with that concern!
You might mention our sharing a similar circumstance when speaking with HP or MS tech help. |
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Friday, November 16, 2007
I think tomorrow I'll load up my back-pack, put on my hiking boots, grab my North Face coat, head out into the woods and use my cell phone to pay bills.
It really doesn't seem like it would be all that much fun but the the guy in the Bank of America TV commercial sure looked as he was having a great time.
I wonder if anybody has ever paid their bills while using a port-a-potty?
Who knows it might be a gas. |
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Headline: GMAC's Mortgage Mess
To think they made us suffer through all those horrendous Ditech
Mortgage commercials.
http://www.ditech.com/about/index.html
Should we guess the IQ of those who called their 800 number?
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Headline: State bar wants answers from Kulongoski
The only way I can imagine Ted Kulongoski ever passing the Oregon State Bar would have been as a passenger in a Plymouth sedan.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
What's amazing is the FAA has never complained about interference to air traffic caused by the strings stretching from Manhattan and attached to Oregon's Governor Ted Kulongoski. |
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My friend has a new Green Ford Mustang!
It can hold 132 MPH and Sustain that until the gas tank runs dry or
the radar detector squeals.
Its not a Hybrid but she did Hit a Bird. One of those smart assed crows
that like to play "you can't catch me." That will teach them to mess with
a new Mustang!
She tells of never having so much fun Embracing the Environment.
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Monday, November 12, 2007
Lets think about it!
I spot a rack of re-useable Grocery Bags being offered at the check-out
stand and read the pitch on how my buying and using these advertising
laden items (to carry my groceries) will help the environment.
Then I notice they are made of a synthetic (petroleum based) material!
Is that Green? Are they made from recycled milk jugs?
So how do we insure that with use of these Enviro Bags they don't become
filthy and a point for Third World diseases to enter our food chain? Have
you ever seen people using plastic grocery bags for baby's dirty laundry?
Guess we can always throw our Green Grocery bags away and buy new.
Only .99 cents a bag, that's affordable.
Either that or not buy groceries where the Third World shoppers visit.
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It's quite obvious they have not attended enough workshops on . . . Embracing Diversity.